Friday, July 25, 2008

Mangled Cliches

1) Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Eat that fuckin' horse.

2) Too many chefs in the kitchen? You gotta buy them a knife set


Now heres a funny idea:

Dude and friends go to a house party a la can't hardley wait. In fact, instead of us having a party, lets just use clips from that movie. At some point, dude and friends go to the kitchen to cool off and get a drink. They're rummaging through cabinets to get a glass and find one of those fancy "unbreakable" glasses.

The guy says to his friends "Theres no way thats unbreakable!" then he takes the glass and throws it down at the ground to prove his point.

His point is made and the glass breaks. Sort of shocked and embarassed, he says to his friends "that one must have been defective...." and then, without even looking at the dishes he's manhandling, pulls out, in one motion, every remaining dish and cup in the cupboard. They all break.


Thursday, July 17, 2008

Food Sketches

The theme with these is someone is about to do something that they will regret doing and another person saying "no, wait!" just as they do it.
1. Person One sees a bowl of oranges, says "hey, apples!" and takes a bite of one.
2. Person 1: "hey, apple slices!" about to rub one over his eyeball
person 2: "wait, there's lemon juice on those!"

A different type of sketch:
1: Man, I would kill for some chocolate milk! Will your mom buy some?!
2: only if it's fortified with vitamin c.
1: no problem!
2. (opens fridge) but we need to be out of all the other stuff we have with vitamin c.
1: Whatever!
2. There's about 10 lemons in here.
1: okay.
(cut to them quietly drinking chocolate milk and grimacing)
1: Man, I would kill for some meth!